Say My Name

Yesterday I was doing some mirror work in the bathroom.  By mirror work I mean, I was looking at myself in the mirror and saying positive affirmations, primarily, "I love you." It's a great technique for building self esteem and accepting ourselves as we are.  Many of you will find this exercise difficult, I certainly did at first, especially gazing into my own eyes and holding it there.  It's much easier to start looking for wrinkles, stray hairs and blemishes but with practice this exercise can become very powerful. I encourage you to give it a try.


I had a birthday last month, and for the first time I am struggling with my age because I'm actually starting to look it.  The image in the mirror isn't the me it used to be.  Gone is my trademark spiked hair.  Instead, it's growing into a mature, silver bob.  There's just a hint of softening around my jowls and let's be honest ladies, in our 40's we all battle the dreaded lady beard.  I'm a middle aged woman and I look like one.  However, despite all this I was able to appreciate the changes and admit to myself, I am pretty.  Please don't think me vain because I truly am not. This absolutely is not one of those "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" commercials that made us all cringe. However, I used to think of myself as cute but with age came maturity, wisdom and a sense of peace that shows on my face.  Apparently serenity is attractive.


I stated, "I love you, Amie" and had an epiphany of sorts.  I never hear my name, especially in that sentence.  As adults, people rarely speak our names directly.  We may be talked of, but not to.  Our partner may use our name to call us into another room but not as a term of endearment.  Hearing, "I love you, Amie" gave me a rush of warmth, it really touched a deep place in my heart.  I've been with my husband now for almost 3 years and quite honestly, his name still feels foreign on my tongue because he's become babe, hon and sweetness, never Ken.  Though I tell him I love him multiple times a day, I've failed to name him the individual as the recipient of my feelings.  Try using your partner's name when telling them you love them, it has much more meaning.  If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you'll see I turned that revelation into a "Quickie". 


I also tried a new idea in this mirror session, I began affirming and accepting the parts of myself that I like least.  "I love your stubbornness.  I love your anger.  I love your laziness.  I love your lack of patience."  We all have a shadow self that we try to hide from others and even ourselves but it exists, it's real, as are the feelings it has.  Suppressing them does not make them go away.  They're still there, lurking shamefully in the shadows, whispering nasty nothings in our ears.  Accepting our dark side does not mean we give ourselves over to it.  We simply acknowledge that it exists.  We are aware of it.  We bring it out of the shadows and into the light but we don't allow it to take over.  


I hope you add mirror work to your daily self-care regime.  This simple yet powerful technique will have a significant impact on your life.  Please comment with your experiences using this practice. I'd love to hear your thoughts.


Blessings

Energy Healing for Children with Autism

I recently accepted a position as a line therapist providing behavior modification therapy to autistic children in their homes.  As a highly sensitive and empathetic person, this is both an incredibly rewarding and completely heartbreaking position.  I have developed a special connection with the kiddos on my teams and it's become very apparent that I was gifted with the ability to intuitively sense how to reach into their private world and gently draw them out.  They respond well to my peaceful demeanor and positive energy by becoming quite calm, frequently seeking physical comfort and maintaining eye contact for extended periods of time.  


During my very first session with a child that was labeled low functioning on the autistic spectrum, I watched while a veteran therapist enthusiastically tried to engage him in play becoming more and more animated, speaking louder and louder, which only increased his agitation.  I sat quietly on the floor observing the struggle.  Within minutes, the child came over and sat on my lap and reached up to stroke my face.  The other therapist was amazed when he then turned around, looked into my eyes for several moments and leaned forward rubbing his cheek against mine.  For several weeks during my training period, this therapist  and I provided therapy together.  She continued to try to engage him with her excitement, singing loudly over his cries of frustration, which eventually led to the child behaving increasingly aggressive towards her, pushing, shoving, throwing stimuli and becoming non-compliant. He'd push her away and turn me burying his face in my stomach seeking peace.  Mind you, she'd been on this case since the child started the program 9 months ago.  Completely new to the position, I hesitated to intervene though every instinct in my entire body was begging her to stop.  Soon my spirit had had enough and I subtly started taking over the sessions.  While she sang "London Bridges", I'd join in but at a whisper.  My new friend would immediately be at my side.  Any physical contact would have to be initiated by him, as I understood that additional stimulation was not what he needed at that moment. Thankfully, a few sessions later my training was complete and I was providing therapy on my own. Notably, there has never been an incident of physical aggression towards me during a session.  Even when extremely frustrated, he's maintained control.  


This child talks and sings constantly though it's not always clear what is being said.  He doesn't actually converse; he may mimic words and phrases but typically not when prompted.  Sadly, his main interaction with the world outside of therapy is with the television which leads to some interesting comments.  Once when I asked him to, "Come on" he responded with, "Come on down!  You are the next contestant on The Price is Right!"  There was a period when "dry, scaly feet" was a favorite and "You're under arrest!" One day someone somewhere received a "$1,000.00 consolation prize.  It wasn't me.  When presented with a new body sock, he crawled inside and I inquired, "Where are you?"  From inside the sock I hear, "Scooby Scooby Doo, where are you?" sung exactly in tune. That right there is the kind of moment that keep me doing this.  


We use a lot of food reinforcement with this kiddo which the family is to provide.  Even I got sick of giving him goldfish crackers and brought in some Apple Jacks and marshmallows, both of which turned out to be big hits.  "Apple Jacks" was easy for him and lead to "Cinnamon Cheerios, Corn Pops, yummy, yummy in my bowl."  (I have no idea on that one.)
A couple days later, the senior therapist was sitting in on a session and neither of us could figure out why he kept saying, "more shows, more shows".  Duh...marshmallows.  How could we not figure that out?


There's a list of songs we sing and recently he's starting joining in.  He'll sing a line, we will sing the next, he the next and so on.  Sometimes we even make it through a complete song.  "Twinkle Twinkle", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", and "It's Raining, It's Pouring" are favorites.  My son made me sing "You Are My Sunshine" to him every night before bed so I've been singing it during sessions too.  It's not on the list so it's not being sung by the other therapists on the team, it's sort of ours alone.  The senior was observing again the other day when out of the blue we hear, "Please don't take my sunshine away."  I thought I'd cry but he had more, "how much I love you."  That did it.  I know he was only mimicking the song and not actually saying "I love you" but he certainly showed me he does in the only way he knows how at this point.


I told the senior about a technique I use with him to provide additional positive reinforcement.  Very, very slowly and gently, barely touching his skin, I run the tips of my fingers up and down his bare arms, over his head and cheeks.  He'll raise his arms for more while he looks me in the eye, getting this completely dreamy look on his face.  For those few minutes, he's utterly at peace and completely connected to another person.  It's pretty incredible to see.  After our demonstration, the senior commented on the relationship he has with me and that I really should market my healing services to autistic children.  


Hmmm...Now there's an idea I think I need to explore.

Surviving as an Empath

Empaths are highly sensitive people with the advanced ability to tune into the emotional, mental and spiritual energies of those around them.  They are warm-hearted and caring people that typically are drawn to professions where they are in service to others such as education, counseling, medicine and the healing arts.  


While truly a gift, this ability to feel what others are feeling so deeply can also be damaging if the empath isn't properly protected.  Like a psychic sponge, the empath picks up energy everywhere they go so it's important that they build a strong boundary or shield around themselves using visualization techniques and also that they perform cleansing rituals to rid themselves of negative energies acquired throughout the day.  When an empath starts feeling depressed or angry or develops a headache or tension they must ask themselves, "Is this mine?"  If it is not, they need to remove themselves from the situation or perform the protection and cleansing methods described below.

Traits of an Empath

• Acute senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell)
• Easily hurt or offended and unable to get over it or let it go
• Intuitive awareness of the feelings of others, especially for those in pain or suffering
• Avoids conflict and strives to keep things harmonious between others
• Finds people including complete strangers telling them deeply personal matters
• Uncomfortable in crowds or noisy environments
• Animals and children are drawn to them
• Cries easily when deeply touched emotionally
• Enjoys music and the arts
• Affected by changes in the weather
• Finds water deeply soothing and restorative

Protection Techniques

• Visualize yourself surrounded by a circle of white light at all times, keeping positive energy in and locking out negative energy.
• Meditate and use affirmations such as "I surround myself with divine protection.  I allow nothing but positive thoughts and energy to affect me.  I will not not be influenced by the negativity of those I encounter."  
• Use Donna Eden's Zip Up method seen here:

Cleansing Techniques

• Take a shower, visualize the water washing away all negative energy from your aura.
• Bathe using a sea salt scrub.  
• Burn incense or smudge with white sage.
• Rub a metal spoon over the bottom of your feet to draw out negative energy.
• Walk barefoot in the grass, feeling yourself become grounded.
• Reiki, meditation and crystal therapy are also all beneficial to balancing energies.

While the gift of empathy for many is a double edged sword, with careful diligence to self-care and empath can use their abilities to the highest and greatest good while maintaining their own health and well being.

Sacred Space

We all need a space of our own, a small sacred space that our soul can call home.  

One of the hardest adjustments I had to make after moving into my husband's house, was finding a place inside of it where I feel at home.  

My sons and I grew up together in the house I purchased shortly after my divorce from their father.  We lived there for 10 years and everything in it was ours, the furniture, the clutter, the cracked walls and the memories. As a Cancerian woman, my home and my family are the center of my universe, and I took a lot of pride in the haven we created. It was my retreat, my anchor, my sanctuary, and most days there wasn't a place I'd rather be.  

Then I met my husband, fell instantly in love and had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life.  As single parents we both were financially strapped, the housing market tanked and there was no way we could both sell our homes in order to purchase something of our own together.  His home was larger and in the school district in which he taught so it was up to the boys and I to move into his place.

The transition was difficult for us all.  I had to face constant reminders of the life he had with his ex-wife, knowing each item inside the house had its own memories attached to it, none of which included me.  His kids had to get used to having to share their space with 3 new people, to an organizational freak of a stepmother that likes things placed just so, new rules, chores and expectations.  My boys had to give up separate rooms and go back to sharing one bedroom, a fenced-in backyard where our dog could run free to chase squirrels and the home I promised them (after several tumultuous years) we would never leave.  It was rough, my heart broke for them and for myself and I agonized over asking them to make such a sacrifice.  

My husband and I stayed in the small bedroom giving the larger master suite to the boys to share.  We couldn't even fit all of our clothes in there, let alone any of my personal "treasures."  My stepdaughter had always occupied the finished attic, consisting of 3 small rooms.  After many months of holding me while I cried, frustrated with having no where to hide and unable to perform all the daily self-care rituals that kept my spirit healthy, my husband made the decision to move his daughter to our small room, allowing us to take over the top floor.  Suffice to say, it was not an easy undertaking and we all came away with some battle scars but it was the best decision in the end.  

We turned one room into our bedroom, another holds the excess stuff accumulated over two middle aged lifetimes and the third has become my sacred space.  In it I've placed all the things that bring me comfort and peace, soothe my soul and calm my mind.  My favorite leather chair, the first real item of furniture I bought on my own, in which my cat and I cuddle together while I read or take a nap.  The antique oak dresser and matching wall mirror my grandmother gave to me several years before she passed away knowing I was the one that would appreciate them most.  As my spiritual journey continues, new things are added, crystals, tarot cards, prayer beads, stones, shells and candles.  The afternoon sun shines in the window giving the whole room a heavenly glow.  This is where I meditate, pray, write and heal.  While I have to admit, the house still doesn't feel like home, this small corner of it does.  It is a place that I can call my own.  

Do you have a room, a closet, a corner where you go to escape the world?  What place does your soul call home?

  

One of Those Days

"I still have bad days but that's okay.  I used to have bad years."  ~ Anonymous

So today is one of those days.  We all have them.  Days when we're sad, weepy, grumpy and miserable for no apparent reason.  And you know what, it is perfectly okay to have them.  No one can be on top of their game every day.  We're over-tired, our defenses are low, dreary weather drags us down and we wake up to find an engraved invitation to a pity party with ourselves listed as the guest of honor. 

If at all possible, give yourself the break your mind, body and spirit so desperately need.  Call in sick and spend the day taking care of yourself in all your favorite ways knowing that if you do, most likely you'll be back in action by tomorrow.  

So stay in your pajamas, hide under the covers, grab a box of tissue and feel all those feelings. Acknowledge them, surrender to them, wallow in them for a time, accept them and let them go.  Most importantly, don't beat yourself up.  Life is about balance. 

Think back to your playground days and the teeter totter.  Remember how it felt to be stuck at the top, your feet just dangling, helpless until the person on the bottom let you back down?  Remember how hard it hurt when they let you drop too quickly and you smashed your butt on the ground when you landed?  It was more fun and much less painful when the two of you agreed to take it easy and hang out in the middle, never going too far up or too far down.  

Don't fight the laws of nature.  What goes up, must come down but with practice, the downs won't be as jarring as they used to be.  Nothing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a day of a cartoons can't fix. 

Take care of yourself.  You're the only you you've got.

The Secret...No, Not That One

Psssst.  Come here.  No closer.  I want to tell you a secret.  No one knows this so please keep it to yourself.  Okay, here it is...I weigh 148 lbs.  Really, I do, 148.  The only reason I'm telling you now it because I've finally come to accept that fact.  I'm 4' 11-1/2" tall and I weigh 148 lbs. and I'm totally fine with that.  Well, maybe not totally fine but fine enough.  Of course I'd love to be a size 2 but I'd also love to live on my very own deserted island, neither of which is going to happen in this lifetime.  It's time to come to grips with reality and accept things as they are. 

Oh, I'm sure I could weigh less, in fact I have, but not without a whole lot of effort and some pretty unhealthy habits.  There have been periods when I worked out 3 or 4 hours a day, counting every calorie burned against every calorie consumed.  Notebooks in which every bite of food was recorded and broken down by calories, fat grams, and carbs.  I've searched the internet for anorexic websites hoping to learn new tricks like drinking broth, only 5 calories per cube you know.  I've ingested enough water in a day to fill a swimming pool, dangerously washing vital electrolytes out of my system.  There were handfuls of herbal colon cleanse nightly because as long as it's natural I can claim that I'm not addicted to laxatives.   

The scale became an appendage, it went everywhere.  As a sales rep, if I travelled out of town and drove, it came with me.  I hated the trips where I had to fly and leave it at home.  In fact, I missed it more than my family.  I learned where to stand to get the best reading (be sure to exhale because that breath of air might just register) and if I didn't like what it said the first time, I just might get a better number on the 7th or 8th try.  My mood for the entire day depended on what the scale said.  Heaven help us all if it went up, picture the Wicked Witch of the West and her flying monkeys.  (Shudder).

During those periods, friends made comments about how thin I was getting.  They discussed options for intervention and encouraged me to see a doctor.  The scary fact is, the doctor never said a word because even then the scale said I weighed a healthy 119 lbs., well within the "normal" range on the BMI chart for a woman my size.  I still remember a doctor telling my 9 yr old self that the rule was 5' - 100 lbs.  5' - 100 lbs, 5' - 100 lbs...that rule might well have been branded on my brain.  It wouldn't have mattered though, at 100 lbs, I'd have wanted to weigh 95 lbs.  No number would have been good enough.  Even I could see how bad I looked, old and gaunt but that didn't matter, it was all about what the scale said.  The number was everything.

After decades of fighting, I finally gave up the battle.  I'm tired, I just can't expend so much energy focusing on a number.  Instead, I made a decision to let it go and just be healthy and happy.  Per my request, my husband hid the scale and after I searched the house to find it, he hid it again, better.  Once I made it through the DT's from quitting cold turkey, I was amazed to see how much brain power was freed up with no number to obsess about, no calories to count, nothing dictating what my mood would be that day.  Oh, so this is life.  Who knew?!

So here I am today, a vegetarian, eating mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds.  I don't drink soda, alcohol or juice.  I walk the dog for 30 minutes every day and lead a very active life.  I'm aware of but not obsessed with my weight and if I have a piece of chocolate I no longer beat myself bloody for being weak.  This is a lifestyle, not a diet.  I'm proud of my clean and healthy living and am not willing to kill myself to be any thinner.  Apparently my body is comfortable being 148 lbs since this is where it stays and that's good enough for me.  It's called acceptance and it's incredibly freeing.  Try it!  Go look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I accept you just the way you are."  Keep saying it, every day until you believe it. 



 

Kryptonite

Who's your kryptonite?  We all have one.  You know, that person that can make you feel small and stupid with just a look.  Despite swearing to ourselves that we won't let them get to us this time, we do.  And the next thing we know, we're handing them our power right there on a silver platter and we're left with nothing but anger and self-loathing for being weak once again.  Is it your mother?  Your ex?  Your boss?  Who?

This afternoon a friend asked me to help her come up with a mantra to build strength when dealing with her ex-husband.  Mind you, this woman is beautiful, intelligent and strong.  She is such a phenomenal burst of energy packed into a pint sized body, nobody would ever suspect that she could be intimidated by anyone, but she, like the rest of us has her kryptonite.  I came up with the following mantra on her behalf but think we can all benefit from the message it holds.

"I am strong, smart, confident and powerful.  I have done and will continue to do great things with my life.  No one can, nor will I allow anyone to try, to take that from me.  I own my own power in all situations."  

Say it outloud, repeat it often and keep it handy should you be exposed to your version of kryptonite.   

Blessings

Zombieland

Hands down the number one complaint I hear from people my age is the inability to fall asleep and stay asleep.  We spend precious hours every night tossing and turning, hopping from bed to couch and back to bed silently counting down in our heads, "If I can just get to sleep right now, I'll have 5 (then 4...3..okay 2) good hours of sleep before work.  I can live on that."  Well the truth is folks, we can't live on that.  Our bodies require a good night's sleep to maintain our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.  We are quickly becoming a nation of churlish, coffee guzzling zombies, stumbling through each day in a fog.  Good thing there's a Starbucks on every corner, right?.  Wrong.  

Stress, the foods we eat and plain old bad habits all play a part in keeping us from finding the elusive sleep we crave so greatly.  Here are a few ideas to help you prepare your body for a good night's rest.

• Reduce stess by practicing yoga, meditation, belly breathing, acupressure, reiki, reflexology, visualization or massage. 
• Take a hot bath.
• Exercise, but no less than 3 hours before bedtime. 
• Don't listen to or watch the news before bed.
• Practice positive thinking and affirmations.
• Lavender has been proven to reduce anxiety and improve sleep. (I sprinkle a couple of drops of essential lavender oil on a tissue and place it under my pillow.  Works like magic!)
• Avoid sugar, coffee, soda, alcohol and nicotine.  Have a cup of herbal tea instead.
• Keep a regular schedule, go to bed and wake up at the same time.  Yes, even on the weekends.
• Keep as much sound and light out of your bedroom as possible. Turn off and unplug the tv, computer, cell phones, etc. 
• Don't eat a large meal before bed. Avoid anything heavy or spicy.   
• Keep your bedroom cool, comfortable and clutter free. 
• Your bed should be used for only two activities, sleep and sex.  That's it.  No watching tv, no reading, no laptop.  Sleep and sex. 
• Keep relaxation as your focus, not sleep. Don't try so hard.

With a little planning and preparation you can set the stage for night of blissful repose.  Sleep, it does a body good.  You should get some.

Good night and sweet dreams.

The Buzz About Energy Healing

Here's a great article about energy healing published in one of our local papers.  I studied with the author, Richard Gubbe.

http://rockrivertimes.com/2011/03/23/to-your-health-the-buzz-about-energy-healing/

Like a Bolt of Lightening

In Tarot, The Tower card represents an event that strikes like lightening. Coming seemingly from nowhere, it arrives quickly, knocking down the ivory tower we've built for ourselves, then vanishes just as suddenly as it arrived. Shocked and shaken, we are left to figure out exactly what happened, assess the damage and determine a plan for moving ahead. 

During a recent reading on my own behalf, The Tower card was selected and sure enough, disaster struck when I found myself soon to be out of a job.  Standing amidst the rubble that was once my career, I'm struggling to decide what's next.  I started my first job the day after my 16th birthday and have never been without one in the 26 years since.  Often, I held 2 or 3 jobs, doing anything I could to provide for my family.  So what now?  With time to reflect, I can see that though terribly frightening, this is exactly what I needed to take my passion for healing and turn it into my life's work. It's my opportunity to do what I love and to love what I do. 

Raised with a strong work ethic, all my life I've done what needed to be done but at the same time, knowing full well that this was not the life God had intended for me.  I was the square peg, hammered into the round hole and I didn't know how to wiggle my way out.  With children to support you can't just take off and do what you want to do, life doesn't work that way.  Just over a year ago, suffering from a severe bout of depression coming on the heels of my remarriage, giving up the home my boys and I had created together to move into my new husband's, and the struggle we were all having adjusting to life with a blended family, I went to see a therapist.  Little did I suspect that it would change the course of my life in such dramatic fashion. 

God brings people into our lives for a reason and Sharon was brought into mine to introduce me to the healer within.  In a few short sessions she gave me an overview of the concept of energy medicine.  She taught me about meridians and helped me overcome fear and anxiety using EFT (Emotional Freedom Therapy), an amazingly simple but powerful form of mental acupressure.  I joined a yoga class, studied chakras, color therapy, reflexology, tarot, bio energy and spiritual healing.  A friend brought me to a Reiki share event and after that one 20 minute session, I knew what I wanted to do with my life and have since become a Reiki Master.  A local massage therapist invited me to join her team and now have a treatment room in her studio where I meet clients during the hours when I am available while still holding down my full time "day job"...Well, did hold down my full time day job. 

Admittedly business with the Reiki practice is slow so far.  Most people in and around the small midwestern town where I'm located have no idea what Reiki is.  There's marketing materials to develop, demonstrations and informational sessions to hold, club and group meetings to attend, hands to shake and deals to make all while working 40 hours a week, seeing clients on nights and weekends and maintaining a household.  No wonder it took a bolt of lightening to shake things up.  

When reading Tarot cards, it's important to understand that no card is inherently good or bad, there are positive and negative aspects to each.  Just as life, Tarot is full of duality.  While as scary as being unemployed and losing the comfort of a steady paycheck is, I've gained the freedom to follow my bliss and make a positive contribution to the world at the same time. With the 40 extra hours a week once devoted to a job in which I'd never find fulfillment, I can now focus on expanding my services and reach more people in need of healing. 

Take some time to look back over your life.  Do you see any "Tower" events that while devastating at the moment of impact, turned out to be opportunities you'd never expected.  I'd love to hear your story so please post a comment and share.

Planning Ahead

Life is a series of never ending changes.  Caught unawares, more often than not, they can knock us right off of our feet.  Jobs are lost, people get sick, children move away and pets die.  Events like these leave us feeling desperate, anxious and out of control, frantically searching for a way to dull the pain.  Off balance and afraid, many of us resort to self-destructive methods such as drugs, alcohol, food or shopping but it's times such as these, when under extreme stress, that we most need to engage in healthy self-care behaviors.

When faced with a difficult period, it's wise to have a plan already in place.  I suggest making a list of 10 ways you can comfort yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Write them down and keep copies of your list at home, the office and in your car so you are always prepared should a challenge arise.  My list looks something like this:

• I will rely on my husband or best friend for support.
• I will eliminate anything that is not absolutely necessary from my To Do list.
• I will remember to eat only healthy and nourishing foods to maintain my strength.  
• I will take time to pray and meditate in the morning and again before bed.
• I will spend time outside each day reflecting on the beauty found in nature. 
• I will refrain from watching or reading disturbing news stories.  
• I will remember to recite my daily affirmations.  
• I will avoid negative and needy people. 
• I will relax my expectations for cleanliness around the house.
• I will remember that change is inevitable, worry a worthless waste of energy and everything happens for a reason.   

Over the next several days, pay attention to the things you do to keep yourself grounded.  Create your list based on these activities and you'll be able to remain strong and centered during times of crisis.



  

Where to folks?

After this long, cold, snowy winter, we could all use a vacation.  Unfortunately, most of us can't just pick up and go when we need a break.  I can just hear it now...How can we afford it?  What about the kids?  There's just too much to do at the office.  There's no one to take the dog.  And of course, I'll have to diet for weeks before I stick my butt into a swimming suit.  There's a simple solution to all those issues right at your fingertips.  Well, actually, on top of your shoulders.  Take a mental vacation.  It's free, it's easy, there's nothing to pack, you won't be molested by airport security and best of all, honey, you absolutely ROCK in that bikini. 

So let's get quiet for minute.  Where would you go if you could travel anywhere in the world?  Great choice!  Now close your eyes and imagine yourself there.  What is that smell?  Is it fresh clean mountain air or the aroma of burning firewood?  Is it the comforting scent of warm bread baking in the oven or the earthy smell of new growth and decay found in the forest?

What are you wearing?  Can you feel the sun shining warm on your skin?  Or are you barefoot, enjoying the sensation of the sand shifting beneath your feet?  Is the spray from the ocean hitting your face? Or are cuddled beneath a warm blanket in front of a blazing fire?

Wait, listen. What do you hear? Is it the ocean?  Or the noise of a crowded marketplace?  Is it the eagles calling out to one another?  Or the sweet sound of silence?  Sssshhhh, be still and just enjoy.

I'm hungry, let's eat!  Should we have the pasta with fresh mozzarella and warm bread dipped in olive oil?  Or maybe the spicy shrimp jumbalaya and cornbread muffins?  And  since we're on vacation, calories don't count so we have to have dessert.  Let's order the Flan de Leche or how about Blueberry Crepes?  No, I think I'm in the mood for something I'm more familiar with.  How about a piece of pumpkin pie?  Or a gooey chocolate sundae?

You can take a mental vacation whenever you need one.  Use this trick when you're stuck in a boring meeting, riding the bus or to relax before bed.  Expand on a previous trip or make up a brand new adventure but wherever you go, try to engage all your senses to fully enjoy the experience. 

On that note...goodbye everyone, I think I hear Tuscany calling my name. 

The Healing Art of Reiki

Reiki, which means “Universal Life Energy,” is a spiritual energy healing technique that originated in Japan thousands of years ago.  The Reiki practitioner channels this life energy through their hands and into the body of the client restoring balance on all levels; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.  Reiki is powerful but yet very gentle and each treatment experience is unique to every individual.

Reiki will…

¨         Manage stress, tension and fatigue

¨         Support in times of crisis, depression, illness and bereavement

¨         Stimulate healing of chronic and acute ailments

¨         Speed recovery post surgery, injury or trauma

¨         Release blocked energy, initiating natural cleansing of toxins

¨         Complement conventional medicine, minimizing the side effects of drugs

¨         Promote self-healing, personal growth, and self-confidence

¨         Provide inner clarity, wisdom, intuition, awareness and enlightenment

¨         Assist in a person’s last moments, easing the death process

Negative emotions, events and memories are stored in the body, blocking the natural flow of energy.  Reiki overcomes this stored negativity and dissolves these blockages.  It repairs and opens the body's energy channels called “meridians”.  It strengthens the body’s ability to heal itself, increases your resistance to stress, resets the resting tone of your nervous system and enhances the function of your immune system. 

Patients find treatments deeply relaxing.  Free of any religious dogma, it connects them to their innate spirituality, strengthening and supporting a healthy mind-body connection. 

While the concept that all living things have energy fields which need to be balanced for optimum health has been a premise in Eastern medical thinking for centuries, it is now being accepted in traditional Western medicine.  Many hospitals, clinics, hospice centers, dentists, chiropractors, mental health professionals, and veterinarians have Reiki practitioners on staff.

Reiki benefits every living thing.  It can be performed on pets to restore physical, emotional and behavioral balances without causing stress, discomfort or pain.  It stimulates the growth of plants, purifies water, cleanses food and can be sent long distances when an in-person session is not available.

Give Reiki a try, it can be a life changing experience. 

It's Just Another Day

It's that day again...That dreaded V-Day.  When I was divorced, nothing depressed me more than being without a partner during the holidays.  Then just when I managed to get through the worst of them, along came Valentine's Day to kick me in teeth & it was back to bed with my tissues, a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.  Exactly what every single adult needs smack dab in the middle of the dreariest month of the winter season, a reminder that everyone is in love but them.  But as I learned over those 10 lonely years, it doesn't have to be that way. 

For a great many of those loving couples, Valentine's Day is as much a fantasy as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and good ol' Cupid himself.  They don't purchase gifts, cards, flowers and chocolates as a sincere token of love and affection for their partner; they do it because they know there will be hell to pay if they don't.  How many of those men (and women too I'm sure) waited until the last possible minute to head to the store?  Have you witnessed the panic, smelled the desperation found in the Walmart card aisle at 5:15 on Feb. 14th?  Ahhhhhh, the love! 

If you're sans partner this Valentine's Day, don't let the hype bring you down.  Instead, give yourself the love you deserve, love that is real and not some stale old cliche found in an over-priced Hallmark card that will end up in the trash bin next week.  Go out with friends. Treat yourself to a massage or a pedicure.  Order dinner in and watch a movie (nothing sad and no romantic comedies).  Go ahead, buy yourself some chocolate but make it the good stuff, no coconut please.  Take a long bubble bath then curl up with a new book.  Love the one you're with honey, and that one is you!

And if all else fails, just remember...you can survive anything for 24 hours. It'll all be over in the morning. 



   

Did You Hear the One About...?

We've all heard the old adage "laughter is the best medicine" and in this case, even science has to admit this is true.  Laughter boosts the immune system, diminishes pain, reduces stress, and strengthens our relationships.  Balancing mind, body and spirit, laughter is a wonderfully simple natural healing technique and the benefits last long after the joke is over.

Laughter adds joy to our lives while changing our perspective on difficult situations.  We can't be sad, mad or anxious while laughing, instead our whole body relaxes with the release of endorphins.  Blood flow increases, improving the function of our cardiovascular system and protecting us from a possible future heart attack. 

Socially, laughter can diffuse conflict and heal resentments.  It draws people to us and enhances feelings of camaraderie and teamwork.  We feel freer and more apt to express our true feelings with those around us when we share laughter. 

You'd think something this good would cost at least $49.95.  But wait!  If you order today, you can have all of this for the low low price of...FREE!  And best of all, laughter doesn't cause constipation,dizziness,drymouth,headache,sweating,nausea,nervousness,
insomnia,vomiting,weight gain,blurred vision,hives,anxiety,aggressiveness,
suicidal thoughts,and sexual side effects like those prescription miracle drugs. You may however, pee your pants just a little bit if you take too much at one time. 

So how do you get laughter for yourself?  No, you don't order it from an infomercial but you can take some easy steps to include it in your daily life.

• Go online, http://www.youtube.com/ can provide you with hours of entertainment watching real people doing really stupid things.
• Smile. Now allow it to grow into something bigger, louder and belly busting. 
• Play with a pet, or a child.  Borrow a neighbor's if you don't have one of your own.  Just be sure to ask them first.
• Instead of getting upset, laugh at life's frustrations.  Imagine telling the story to friends, be sure to include some sarcastic commentary and a wild laugh track in the background.
• Watch a funny movie or television show.  Be it The Hangover, South Park or Shrek, there's something out there to fit every sense of humor.
• Listen to a baby giggle. There's nothing more infectious.  Try not to laugh.  Go ahead, I dare ya. 
• Hang with some friends and do something you don't do often or do well; go bowling, rollerskating, visit a comedy club, play miniature golf, or go-cart racing.
• Page through old photo albums.  How could your mother dress you in that purple polyester pantsuit?  Who convinced us that 4" mall bangs were hot?    

Laughter is contagious, share it with a friend and the more you laugh, the more things you will find to laugh about.  And remember, life is short so don't take yourself too seriously.  Just relax and enjoy the ride!

Silence is Golden

"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment." ~ William Penn

Our lives have been made much easier thanks to the hundreds of electronic gadgets and gizmos we come across every day; cell phones, computers, dishwashers, televisions, Playstations, X-Boxes, IPods, washing machines, planes, trains and automobiles just to name a few. What we have lost in return however, is the gift of silence. Rarely in the course of a day do most of us find any true peace and quiet. Nor are we treated to the pure, clean sounds of nature without the annoying background buzzes and beeps of modern life.

Our bodies and our spirits need silence to heal, to renew and refresh. Much of our irritability can be traced back to a lack of quiet time.

Studies prove that women typically are more sensitive aurally than men, probably because we've been alert to the sounds of our babies crying for ages. I'm living proof of that theory. My husband has found me many a morning wide awake and exhausted with my head buried under several pillows trying to drown out the mysterious hum coming from outside our window. He can no longer charge his cell phone in our bedroom because I can hear the charger when it's plugged into the socket. Our teenage children don't have a chance in hell of sneaking in or out of this house when I'm around. In order to maintain what is left of my sanity, I make a point of treating myself to moments of quiet every day. Here are a few suggestions to help you find the silence your body is craving.

• Turn off and unplug appliances and machinery when not in use.
• Take a walk or ride your bike without listening to your IPod. Just enjoy the sound of nature live and in person.
• Sit in the park on your lunch hour.
• Use manual versions of appliances when possible. Remember what a real can opener looked like before we could plug them in?
• Turn off the television, radio and cell phone for an hour or more.
• Pet your cat and listen to her purr.
• Enjoy some soothing music. I'm a huge fan of Spa Radio at http://www.pandora.com/.
• Purchase a sound machine. Mine has settings for a bubbling brook, rain, ocean waves, birds, heartbeat and white noise. While still an electronic device, it can at least mask the harsh sounds of my son saving the world on his XBox.

Silence, one more way to take care of yourself, mind, body and spirit.

Where's Your Flare?

In the movie Office Space, Jennifer Aniston's character is scolded by her boss for having only the minimum required pieces of flare on her uniform.  For many of us, our days are fairly uniform, there's not much difference between one day and the next.  We go along doing what needs to be done, then we wake up in the morning and do it all over again.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  So I ask you, where's the flare?

This week I challenge you to add a few extra pieces of flare to the uniform of your daily life.

~ Serve dinner on your best dishware.  It doesn't matter if it's frozen pizza, Lean Cuisine or filet mignon, set a proper table with napkins, silverware and crystal glasses.  Even milk tastes special when served in a flute. 

~ Treat yourself to a spa night.  Warn your family that you are only to be interrupted on account of fire, bloodshed or death.  Lock the door, light a candle and add some scented oils to your bath.  Lie back, close your eyes and relax until your fingers and toes are pruny.  Be sure to dry off with the fluffiest towel in the closet and wrap up in your comfiest robe or pajamas. 

~ After the kids are in bed, turn off the television, put on some mood music, (I prefer Marvin Gaye and Al Green but whatever gets you going), grab your honey and dance nice and slow.  Remember what it was like before life got in the way?  When all you could think about was how long you had to wait before you could get naked together?  Go back there tonight.  You'll be glad you did.

~ Have a family pajama party.  Pop loads of popcorn, throw pillows and blankets on the floor, turn off all the lights and watch a movie together.  The Princess Bride is one of my personal favorites, it has something for everyone; romance, action, adventure, comedy and a giant.  Perfect!

It doesn't take much effort really, just a little imagination and a playful spirit and you can easily bring some flare back into your life. 

Mind Your Own Business

Mindfulness is a topic I will be discussing often because I believe it is one of the most effective ways to bring peace and balance to our lives.

It seems we are on a never ending quest to cram more and more stuff into our days.  We eat our meals in the car.  We talk on the phone while walking the dog.  We send emails while waiting in line at the store and we text others while listening to our spouse tell us about their day.  We have become so adroit at multi-tasking we feel uncomfortable and lazy doing only one thing at a time.  We are nearly incapable of living in the moment, always thinking ahead to what has to be done next, so much so, that huge chunks of our time are lost mindlessly rushing through daily tasks that we have no recollection of completing minutes after completing them.  We simply function on autopilot.

I'm sure you remember taking a shower this morning but do you recall the scent of your soap?  What did the lather feel like in your hands?  Did you stop to enjoy the sensation of hot water cascading over your body?  Odds are you were already stressed, worried about running late, anticipating the meeting with your boss later this morning, wondering when you'll manage to shovel the driveway and if there's enough hamburger in the fridge for dinner tonight.  By the time you got out, I would bet your heart was racing, your jaws clenched and your fists tight.  A good fifteen minutes of your life just passed by, fifteen minutes that you can't ever get back, fifteen minutes that should have been spent enjoying a truly wonderful sensual experience. 

I challenge you to take your shower mindfully tomorrow.  Spend that time thinking only about what you are doing, feeling, seeing, smelling, hearing in that exact moment.  Turn on the water and listen to the sound it makes hitting the bottom of the tub.  Feel the water get warmer and warmer on your hand.  Step in and enjoy the sensation of the hot spray against your skin.  Follow the path of a single drop as it runs down the shower wall.  Lean your head back and feel your hair get heavy as it soaks up the wetness.  Pour some shampoo into your hand and breathe in the fresh scent. Feel the silky smoothness of the lather.  Watch as the bubbles pop on your skin...I'll leave you to figure out how to enjoy the rest of your shower time but whatever you do, remain in the present moment, mindfully enjoying every single 60 second in every single minute. 

Namaste

Stay Loose

Last night I had a truly fabulous massage from Angella at Willow Moon Therapeutic Massage in Rockton, Il which got me to thinking about my next post.

Many of us spend eight or more hours a day parked in front of a computer at our jobs.  Then we come home only to spend another couple hours checking personal emails, paying bills online and catching up on the latest news with our friends on Twitter and Facebook.  Not only does this contribute significantly to our ever expanding posteriors, it's a major cause of neck, shoulder and back pain.  Following are some suggestions to keep you loose and pain-free throughout the day.

1.  Move, Move, Move! - Take frequent trips away from your desk.  Go talk to a co-worker rather than calling or sending an email.  Stand while taking a phone call.  Walk around the building or the parking lot at lunch or breaktime. 

2.  Place a small step or platform under your desk to support your feet.  Keep the blood flowing to your lower extremities by doing some leg extensions, heel lifts and toe raises.  This is a great way to increase strength and muscle tone without that nasty business of actually breaking a sweat. 

3.  Stay alert by bringing fresh oxygen to your brain.  Stand up, bend at the waist and let your upper body hang loose.  Swing gently side to side like a tree blowing in the breeze.  Your co-workers may look at you funny but it feels so good, it's worth the harassment.

4.  Stretch and stretch again, in fact, stretch a lot! 

• Start with your neck.  Lower your right ear towards your shoulder.  You can push your head down gently to deepen the stretch.  Come back to center, then repeat on the left side.  Come back to center, now lower your chin to your chest. 
• Raise your arms over your head.  Now with your left hand, grasp your right wrist and gently pull up.  Repeat on the left side.
• Clasp your hands behind your back and if you can, roll your shoulders back, pinching your shoulder blades together.

5.  Sit tall and proud like mom always said.  Fight the temptation to slouch over your keyboard. 

6.  Give yourself mini massages by walking your fingers up and down your neck and over your shoulder muscles, or you could just ask the cute new guy in accounting to do it for you.  Whatever works.

My final piece of advice is to remember to breathe.  Take a few slow deep cleansing breaths.  Inhale for the count of four, let your belly expand, feel your lungs filling with air.  Hold for two.  Exhale for the count of six, releasing the air from the lungs down, feel your belly deflate.  Do this several times throughout the day, especially when you feel yourself getting tense.

Take care and stay loose!

Soften Your Edges

I've always had poor eyesight but I recently discovered it's poor in a sense that I hadn't thought of before. 

After taking a shower the other morning, I looked into the mirror and was surprisingly pleased with what I saw.  My glasses were off and it was before I'd put my contacts in so the image in the glass was somewhat hazy but I could see it was me and I looked fit, healthy, and while not exactly what one would call "slender", not the woman in the sumo suit I typically see.  Wow, maybe all this healthy eating, yoga, biking and my new found sobriety really is making a difference.  Then I made the fatal mistake of putting in my contacts and right before my very eyes, I morphed back into the middle aged, fat woman that normally greets me every morning.

Logically I know that because I'm nearsighted, there cannot be that much of a difference between the two images.  With my vision at 20/20, all the parts of my body that I don't like become glaringly apparent; the wrinkles, the stomach pooch after having 2 children, stretch marks, a C-section scar, droopy breasts, and the cottage cheese thighs.  Without glasses or contacts however, the woman in the mirror is a softer, more gentle representation of myself and I've decided I like that look.  It's the one I choose to see.

My challenge for you this week is to look at yourself in a whole new way.  Remove the glasses that make you see your so called "flaws" so clearly.  Instead, take a step back from the mirror, don't focus so hard, dim the lights and soften your edges.  This is you, and you are beautiful.  I want you to do one more exercise, look into your own eyes and say aloud, "I love you,".  Go ahead and give yourself a big kiss and be sure to leave the lipstick stain on the glass as a reminder of just how sexy you are!