Yesterday I was doing some mirror work in the bathroom. By mirror work I mean, I was looking at myself in the mirror and saying positive affirmations, primarily, "I love you." It's a great technique for building self esteem and accepting ourselves as we are. Many of you will find this exercise difficult, I certainly did at first, especially gazing into my own eyes and holding it there. It's much easier to start looking for wrinkles, stray hairs and blemishes but with practice this exercise can become very powerful. I encourage you to give it a try.
I had a birthday last month, and for the first time I am struggling with my age because I'm actually starting to look it. The image in the mirror isn't the me it used to be. Gone is my trademark spiked hair. Instead, it's growing into a mature, silver bob. There's just a hint of softening around my jowls and let's be honest ladies, in our 40's we all battle the dreaded lady beard. I'm a middle aged woman and I look like one. However, despite all this I was able to appreciate the changes and admit to myself, I am pretty. Please don't think me vain because I truly am not. This absolutely is not one of those "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" commercials that made us all cringe. However, I used to think of myself as cute but with age came maturity, wisdom and a sense of peace that shows on my face. Apparently serenity is attractive.
I stated, "I love you, Amie" and had an epiphany of sorts. I never hear my name, especially in that sentence. As adults, people rarely speak our names directly. We may be talked of, but not to. Our partner may use our name to call us into another room but not as a term of endearment. Hearing, "I love you, Amie" gave me a rush of warmth, it really touched a deep place in my heart. I've been with my husband now for almost 3 years and quite honestly, his name still feels foreign on my tongue because he's become babe, hon and sweetness, never Ken. Though I tell him I love him multiple times a day, I've failed to name him the individual as the recipient of my feelings. Try using your partner's name when telling them you love them, it has much more meaning. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you'll see I turned that revelation into a "Quickie".
I also tried a new idea in this mirror session, I began affirming and accepting the parts of myself that I like least. "I love your stubbornness. I love your anger. I love your laziness. I love your lack of patience." We all have a shadow self that we try to hide from others and even ourselves but it exists, it's real, as are the feelings it has. Suppressing them does not make them go away. They're still there, lurking shamefully in the shadows, whispering nasty nothings in our ears. Accepting our dark side does not mean we give ourselves over to it. We simply acknowledge that it exists. We are aware of it. We bring it out of the shadows and into the light but we don't allow it to take over.
I hope you add mirror work to your daily self-care regime. This simple yet powerful technique will have a significant impact on your life. Please comment with your experiences using this practice. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings
I had a birthday last month, and for the first time I am struggling with my age because I'm actually starting to look it. The image in the mirror isn't the me it used to be. Gone is my trademark spiked hair. Instead, it's growing into a mature, silver bob. There's just a hint of softening around my jowls and let's be honest ladies, in our 40's we all battle the dreaded lady beard. I'm a middle aged woman and I look like one. However, despite all this I was able to appreciate the changes and admit to myself, I am pretty. Please don't think me vain because I truly am not. This absolutely is not one of those "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" commercials that made us all cringe. However, I used to think of myself as cute but with age came maturity, wisdom and a sense of peace that shows on my face. Apparently serenity is attractive.
I stated, "I love you, Amie" and had an epiphany of sorts. I never hear my name, especially in that sentence. As adults, people rarely speak our names directly. We may be talked of, but not to. Our partner may use our name to call us into another room but not as a term of endearment. Hearing, "I love you, Amie" gave me a rush of warmth, it really touched a deep place in my heart. I've been with my husband now for almost 3 years and quite honestly, his name still feels foreign on my tongue because he's become babe, hon and sweetness, never Ken. Though I tell him I love him multiple times a day, I've failed to name him the individual as the recipient of my feelings. Try using your partner's name when telling them you love them, it has much more meaning. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you'll see I turned that revelation into a "Quickie".
I also tried a new idea in this mirror session, I began affirming and accepting the parts of myself that I like least. "I love your stubbornness. I love your anger. I love your laziness. I love your lack of patience." We all have a shadow self that we try to hide from others and even ourselves but it exists, it's real, as are the feelings it has. Suppressing them does not make them go away. They're still there, lurking shamefully in the shadows, whispering nasty nothings in our ears. Accepting our dark side does not mean we give ourselves over to it. We simply acknowledge that it exists. We are aware of it. We bring it out of the shadows and into the light but we don't allow it to take over.
I hope you add mirror work to your daily self-care regime. This simple yet powerful technique will have a significant impact on your life. Please comment with your experiences using this practice. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings
